Math+Humour

A SLICE OF PI 3.14159265358979 1640628620899 23172535940 881097566 5432664 09171 036 5







__**Salary Theorem: **__ __**The less you know, the more you make.**__  **Proof:** Fact #1: Knowledge is Power Fact #2: Time is Money We know that: Power = Work / Time And since Knowledge = Power and Time = Money It is therefore true that Knowledge = Work / Money Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done



Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

French Math Jokes Q: “X² entre dans une forêt et en ressort X. Que s’est-il passé?” R: “Il a buté sur une racine!”

Q: “X et X² sont dans un bateau qui s’appelle //La Fonction//. X tombe à l’eau. Qui est-ce qui reste dans le bateau?” R: “2X, car //La Fonction// a derivé!”

Q: “La fonction exponentielle et la fonction logarithme népérien vont au restaurant. Qui est-ce qui paie?” R: La fonction exponentielle, car la fonction logarithmique //ne – paye –rien// !”

Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10//x// )(13i)^2]-[sin(//xy //)/2.362//x //].

An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. "Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?" The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.

Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970: A logger exchanges a set "L" of lumber for a set "M" of money. The cardinality of set "M" is 100. Each element is worth one dollar. Make 100 dots representing the elements of the set "M." The set "C", the cost of production contains 20 fewer points than set "M" Represent the set "C" as a subset of set "M" and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set "P" of profits?

Teaching Math in 1980: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990: By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees? There are no wrong answers.

Teaching Math in 2000: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $120. Show how Arthur Andersen determines that his profit margin is $60?

Teaching Math in 2020: A logger sells a truckload of artificial lumber for $1000 His cost of recycling trash is $100 Show the effect a barren earth has on profit margin.

Teaching Math in 3000: A..................?

__**Proof.**__ No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.
 * Theorem**. A cat has nine tails.


 * Life is complex:** it has both real and imaginary components.

A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space. "How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk. "My head's spinning", the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?" "Well, it's not even difficult. All I do is visualize the situation in arbitrary N-dimensional space and then set N = 13."

A stats professor plans to travel to a conference by plane. When he passes the security check, they discover a bomb in his carry-on-baggage. Of course, he is hauled off immediately for interrogation. "I don't understand it!" the interrogating officer exclaims. "You're an accomplished professional, a caring family man, a pillar of your parish - and now you want to destroy that all by blowing up an airplane!" "Sorry", the professor interrupts him. "I had never intended to blow up the plane." "So, for what reason else did you try to bring a bomb on board?!" "Let me explain. Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. That's quite high if you think about it - so high that I wouldn't have any peace of mind on a flight." "And what does this have to do with you bringing a bomb on board of a plane?" "You see, since the probability of one bomb being on my plane is 1/1000, the chance that there are two bombs is 1/1000000. If I already bring one, the chance of another bomb being around is actually 1/1000000, and I am much safer..."

"What is Pi?" A mathematician: "Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter." A computer programmer: "Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision." A physicist: "Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005." An engineer: "Pi is about 22/7." A nutritionist: "Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!"

A biologist, a physicist, and a mathematician are sitting in an outdoor cafe. They watch two people go into a building across the street. Shortly thereafter, three people come out. "Hmm," says the biologist. "It looks like they reproduced." "Nah," says the physicist. "There was obviously error in our initial measurement." The mathematician looks up from his coffee. "Who cares? If another person goes in, it'll be empty."

Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are staying in a hotel. The engineer wakes up and smells smoke. He goes out into the hallway and sees a fire, so he fills a trash can from his room with water and douses the fire. He goes back to bed. Later, the physicist wakes up and smells smoke. He opens his door and sees a fire in the hallway. He walks down the hall to a fire hose and after calculating the flame velocity, distance, water pressure, trajectory, etc. extinguishes the fire with the minimum amount of water and energy needed. Later, the mathematician wakes up and smells smoke. He goes to the hall, sees the fire and then the fire hose. He thinks for a moment and then exclaims, "Ah, a solution exists!" and then goes back to bed.

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer enter a mathematics contest, the first task of which is toprove that all odd number are prime. The mathematician has an elegant argument: ‘1’s a prime, 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime. Therefore, by mathematical induction, all odd numbers are prime. It’s the physicist’s turn: ‘1’s a prime, 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 11’s a prime, 13’s a prime, so, to within experimental error, all odd numbers are prime.’ The most straightforward proof is provided by the engineer: ‘1’s a prime, 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime, 9’s a prime, 11’s a prime. . . ’.